


glass houses

by palmviolet



Series: duprass [missing scenes] [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Discussions of Mental Health Issues, Discussions of gaslighting, F/M, Missing Scene, S3 spoilers, a fix it for THAT line
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-09 14:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19478134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palmviolet/pseuds/palmviolet
Summary: “you believed me then. so why the fuck won’t you believe me now?”// missing scene from 3.05, contains spoilers.





	glass houses

Glass houses. 

It rings around and around in her brain, all that night. She sits there with a cigarette and a glass of watered vodka and tries to stop thinking, tries to calm the sick feeling in her chest - but she can’t.

Glass houses. Glass _fucking_ houses.

God, and he-

He was always the only one-

Her eyes sting and she sniffs, taking a sip of the drink and letting the burn mask her tears. He humored her with the Lab - yes, humored her, she’s realised that’s what it was - and now he’s letting her know what he really thinks. Like she just got lucky, being right about it all. Like she’s never been right in the _fucking_ past-

Bob would never have said something like that to her. Wouldn’t have said it in such a sneering tone, like it’s a joke she’s too stupid to get. He’d have been concerned, at the most. Told her maybe to slow down with the theories and the questions and the panicked suspicion that something is wrong - but he’d never have made it into mockery. Never have cut her down, cut down her legitimate suspicions into delusional hypocrisy-

_Pot, kettle, black._

God, he’s a fucking asshole. 

She shifts in her chair, flicks the ash off her cigarette. He tells her she’s crazy, and then he gives her a smoke like everything’s fine, like it’s all normal-

She didn’t miss that glance he gave Murray, over her head. When she’d yelled at him, like a _hysterical woman._ The kind of glance Lonnie would give his friends at the bar when she tried to make him come home. 

“Glass houses my ass,” she whispers as she stubs out her cigarette. 

“So, the guy’s an asshole, we know that.”

She jumps, her gaze shooting up to meet Murray’s with a scowl. She didn’t even hear him come in. “Seriously? I’m not in the mood.”

“Oh, I can tell. I would say trouble in paradise, but, well… looks like Eden’s no more than a blip on the horizon for you right now.”

She rubs her temples. “Yeah, well, maybe you’re right.”

“So _talk to him._ Give him a piece of your mind, chew him out, scold him, whatever. You didn’t have much trouble with me.”

She risks a glance up at him. His face is perpetually smug but there is a hint of something genuine - perhaps in the widening of his eyes, the slim line of his mouth. “God, you’re just loving this, aren’t you?”

“Me? No,” he says, so sincerely it has to be a joke. “Now talk to him. Make him apologise, because you deserve it.”

She narrows her eyes at him, but he doesn’t say anything else. And maybe he’s right - at least, she does want to tell Hopper exactly what she thinks. _Glass houses._

As she brushes past the guy he gives her a smile and a little wave. “Fly free,” he says. Her scowl deepens.

“If I catch you listening to us talking-“

His hands come up defensively. “No, no, I wouldn’t dream of it.”

She scoffs, but she keeps on walking. And then it’s her and Hop, alone in the other room. He’s slumped on the sofa, eyes closed, but as she approaches he stirs.

“Hey,” he says. “You ready to try Smirnoff again?”

She raises her glass. “Already got some,” she quips, then regrets it as he smiles. She’s angry at him, she should remember that. _Glass fucking houses_. (Just like that, the anger’s back.) “No, I-“ He gestures to the seat beside him. She shakes her head. “I wanted to talk to you, about- about something you said, earlier.”

“Joyce-“

“No, Hop, you gotta let me finish. You gotta-“ Her voice cracks and she fights the urge to roll her eyes at herself. God, she’s pathetic. “Please.”

He nods, eyes downcast.

“So- what you said, you-“ She takes a breath. “Glass houses. Glass _fucking_ houses, Hop, really? So what, so I’m- so I’m crazy now? I’m crazy, I’m a hypocrite, I’m _certifiable?_ Is that it?”

He sits up straighter, so many emotions flashing across his face in quick succession that they’re impossible to read. “No- Joyce-“

“Don’t try to deny it. You know what you said, and you know what you meant. Jesus- everyone else, sure, but you- only you-“

“Joyce, stop,” he says. He leans forward, still not standing - he doesn’t tower over her, which she guesses she should be grateful for - and reaches out a hand. “God, it was an awful thing to say. I’ve been so- so worked up these past couple days, and it slipped out-“

“Did it? Did it slip out? Or is that what you’ve thought all along? You didn’t want to take me to the Lab, you only came with me when I said I was going on my own, and even when we were there-“

She thinks of standing in that spot. Looking at the floor, the floor where Bob died, where the blood came showering down-

Hopper asking if she’s okay, almost impatiently.

“You’ve been treating me like a child, Hop. You say you want me to feel safe but I- I _don’t_ feel safe! I never feel safe! I can’t breathe half the time but I know- I know when something’s wrong. I _know_ it, just like I knew Will was alive, just like I knew there was something else wrong with him-“

She takes a shaky breath. 

“You believed me then. So why the fuck won’t you believe me now?”

He does stand, then. He brings his hands up so they’re hovering over her shoulders - the offer of touch, should she choose to take it. “I never- I _never_ said I didn’t believe you. I didn’t want it to be true, about the Lab and everything. I was so caught up in this- this balance that we’d found, we’d all found. Stuck in all the little problems, like El and Mike and keeping the door ajar-“ He meets her eyes again, grave. “And I guess- I was so unsure, about- about Enzo’s, and dinner, so when you didn’t turn up I immediately thought the worst-“

“You thought I was fucking Scott Clarke,” she scoffs, jaw set in a bitter line. “And then Alexei- you, making your stupid jokes about every man I’ve ever talked to, like you have a right to, like you asked me out, when you didn’t, it was only friends-“

“I know, okay?! I know. I-“ He scrubs a hand over his bloody, battered face. “God, I’ve treated you like shit these past few days, haven’t I?”

“Huh, I hadn’t noticed,” she mutters, eyes on the floor. There are more tears welling up, unwanted ones, that burn and sting like she’s a child fighting them. God- she misses- she wants- “Can’t we just go back to how it was before? When- when you didn’t get so- so goddamn angry all the time?”

He sighs. “You know- nothing can go back to the way that it was.” Old words, words they’ve shared before. “You know that. You- and me- and Bob-“ Her face twists. Even his name- it calls up such twisted pain inside her. Guilt and grief and regret. “And El, and what happened to Will- Everything changes. We have to change with it. If we don’t- if we don’t bend, we’ll break.”

He’s right about that. She’s not the same as she used to be. She’s sharper, harder, bolder. She’s more anxious, but she puts it aside with more ease. She’s been so close to breaking, so many times-

Which is why-

“But you know- you _know-_ I mean, Christ-“

She doesn’t know how to say it. How does she say it? How does she get the words out, to make him understand? 

“You called me _certifiable_. And God knows I shouldn’t have said it myself, but-“ Her face crumples into tears. _Fucking_ tears, like that doesn’t prove his goddamn point-

And then his arms come around her, and her face is buried in his shirt. He still smells like smoke and sweat but right now- she can’t bring herself to care. “I should never- _never-_ have said that to you. Never. You’re not certifiable- of course you’re not- I’m so goddamn sorry. I’m sorry.”

His rough baritone rumbles against her skin and despite herself she can feel it calming her, soothing the sick knot in her throat. She breathes. “Can we- can we just, you know, be nice to each other? I can’t- something’s going on here, and we can’t- _I_ can’t face it alone.”

He nods. “Yeah, I- I need you, here, with me. I _need_ you.”

She glances up and the way he’s looking at her- the way his eyes have softened, the way his brow has lightened-

She’s gone from certifiable to loveable, to kissable, to _fuckable_ , and well- does she mind? Does she mind the way he’s looking at her, like she hung the moon and the stars? Like she’s radiating sunshine, though she hasn’t bathed or changed clothes in days now and the shadows under her eyes are so deep they may as well be engraved. Does she mind?

No, she thinks. She doesn’t. It’s the same way he’s been looking at her for a while (like she hasn’t noticed). And she finds herself starting to think- well- 

Enzo’s might be nice.

Might be real nice (if he stops acting like she’s crazy).

Maybe she’ll-

But not tonight. Not tonight. Tonight she’ll get fitful sleep on the sofa while Hopper paces up and down and lights smoke after smoke, sending glares at Alexei as he snores in the bathtub in the corner. (Hopper didn’t let him go anywhere more comfortable.)

Sometimes Hopper will look at her, when he thinks she’s asleep. She can feel the weight of his gaze. And- well-

The sofa is plenty wide enough. 

But in the end she just rolls over and lets her exhaustion carry her down. Lets her waking worries dissolve into shapeless, uneasy nightmares. Not tonight, she thinks right before she goes under. Not tonight.

But maybe tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> ughhhhh idek how im feeling right now  
> anyway i desperately needed to fix this line because honestly?? it hit me like a bullet i was like holy SHIT that’s disgusting. hopper never, ever called her crazy and then he makes some kind of joke? like that? tbh his characterisation this season was... interesting. he was pretty gross to both joyce and el throughout, but alas. that’s why we have fic lol (and we are Not talking about that ending no siree)
> 
> let me know what you think!! bashed this out in about 20 mins lol i was desperate  
> xx


End file.
